The Ick Files

The ultimate compendium of hilarious, horrifying and cringe-worthy dating interactions

You’ve felt it: that split second when someone you might be attracted to does or says something so profoundly unsexy that your entire nervous system shuts the operation down. Attraction: gone. Chemistry: dead. Congratulations – you've caught the ick.

You’re not alone. The Ick Files is an A-Z of more than 175 real-life cases of instant attraction annihilation. Equal parts anthropological study and cautionary tale, it catalogues the tiny, bizarre and deeply specific behaviours that can send a promising romantic prospect straight into the no-thank-you zone. Prime offenders include:

- A guy who won’t eat polenta because it sounds too much like placenta

- A girl who owns 30 stuffed animals and kisses every single one of them goodnight before she goes to sleep

- A guy who gets his mother to cut his fingernails

- A guy who ‘doesn’t really believe in’ brushing his teeth

- A guy who brings his laundry to an apartment dinner date